Fourth, clean up broken chords: no one is perfect, and sometimes you find yourself in a situation that prevents you from complying with your agreement. If this happens, take responsibility and make no apologies. If the agreements are broken, this can be an opportunity to re-engage in the team and ask the parties involved how you can do it properly. Try to find out all the underlying problems that contributed to the reason you broke the agreement. This will help you stay on track. First, as a speaker, ask your listeners, “What have you heard” or “What are you going to do with this conversation?” When an agreement is reached, you ask, “Who is going to do what until when?” Another way to ask is “what steps are you going to take as a result of this meeting?” If you feel discomfort or tension, you give your listeners permission to give honest feedback. You might also ask, “Is there anything you want to tell me that I don`t want to hear?” or “Are there elephants in the room that we need to talk about?” Wouldn`t it be nice if we knew what all these unspoken agreements are? Would that not facilitate the conclusion of advantageous agreements and, if so, if we actually respect them? But what we often don`t see is that some of these agreements are conscious, but many of them are unconscious. Conscious diversity is spoken or written. Unconscious agreements are unchallenged, but they are often just as powerful to us, even if we may not even be aware of them. These agreements between us and the world are so entrenched in us that most of the time we do not even see them as agreements. They are implicit, unwritten and uncommune communiqued, but also quite rigid.
It may be how we think others should behave, which means being a good person, or taking the form of chords when/after. It could be anything. The reward of an organization that practices active listening and speaking around chords is very lively. A team synchronized with all members is a team capable of working with optimal strength. If I did the job he asked for, I would get free extra coaching. Failure to follow instructions did not mean coaching. There was no contract, no agreement or even mention. It was just understood. Non-binding non-verbal chords are a kind of magic in human interaction. They do not include lawyers, contracts or regulations. A simple understanding between two parts to which each adheres. I sometimes call it “the hypnosis of youth,” the things we learn early on, that become our opinion on how the world should work and how to play the game of life.
And that is the beginning of the agreements that we are beginning to conclude with ourselves. In the sense of “establishment” there are some good practices for listening and speaking, to conclude clear and achievable agreements for all parties involved. I train in my own organization and advise my clients to do the same in all their interactions. Our lives are animated by the multitude of agreements we make every day.